I suppose someone will want to know just who I am at some point. I am now 45 years "young" gay guy and have pretty much been fat or overweight all my life. For some reason, food always was what made me happy. What I used as my "addiction" to avoid loving myself. It has taken me years of therapy, countless diets (like every single one that you could be on) and self-degrading activities to make myself "feel" better.
Why is the question? Why have I hated myself for so long and even now after losing 155 pounds don't I feel "good"? I should, shouldn't I ?
Each and every morning I look at myself but don't "see" myself as I don't know who I am as a person that isn't fat. I wander around and try to understand who I am but I just cannot figure this all out or why I feel this way.
The journey I've taken over the past 15 months has been incredible but it also cost me SO much -my six year relationship, many friends as I changed my perspectives and caused me to really self-reflect as "food" could be my excuse or crutch anymore.
I am sure if anyone actually is reading this, or reads this, they will think I am crazy and probably I am for the mostpart. But this journey has not occurred without alot of heartache in the process.
But that's where I am now - not where I've come from. For anyone to know my true story I need to start at the beginning.
